Tonight, I began reading Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend in preparation for an upcoming message I'm doing on handling conflict.
In chapter 5, they give some great tips on confrontation and three specific things to keep in mind when discussing "issues". Here they are:
- 1. Clarify the nature of the problem.
- Be clear and focused as to what the problem is really about.
- Make the issue as understandable as possible to the other person.
- BE SPECIFIC!
- Include not only the facts and realities about the problem, but also what it does to you and the relationship. (How does this make me feel?)
- Avoid the mistake of stopping with the negative aspects of the problem.
- Let them know what you would like to see that would change the situation and solve the problem.
2. Clarify the effects of the problem.
3. Clarify your desire for change.